Not Settling . . . Seeking God's Best

So, I've been interviewing like crazy, and trying desperately to stay open to wherever God may want me. I have recently interviewed in Houston, Austin, Webster, Humble, Dickinson, Seguin, Boerne, Winston-Salem, NC, Beeville, TX, and I'm about to head to Wylie tomorrow. I've interviewed for Children's homes, homeless women's shelters, law firms, and churches. In all this I'm trying to seek what God wants, and not what I want. Sometimes that is such a fine line. However, if my passion is Him one would think the passions I have would be in line with His. I guess I just have to trust that, and let that be my guide. Right now my heart is saying I need to stay in the Houston or the surrounding area. However, I struggle with that since the only thing that is a sure bet at this point is a job in Beeville. I know they want someone out there that would like to stay for awhile, and I'm not certain that is me. My passion is to be back in youth ministry, and to get to do that full time like I did in Midland. Midland had its challenges since I was away from friends and family, but I was getting to share my faith and provide programming, and building relationships with youth in ways that I've always longed to. While I know I'd make an excellent case worker, and that it includes good benefits, and is really a good deal, I don't know if it's exactly where I need to be. A friend recently reminded me about not settling, and I'm determined to take his advice. I mean it's a great opportunity, but I have the overwhelming feeling that God has something more. I think I just need to let Him work. I mean after all, most of the time all this interview process stuff can take awhile. I don't want to rush God, or just take an offer because it's the only one I can see at the moment. If you're reading this please pray for me in all of this. Thank you so much!!

Passion and then some . . .

I just started reading Uprising by Erwin McManus and felt the need to write about passion. He hit on a bunch of things that I have at some point talked about or at least thought of. It has long been witnessed in my life that so many people live without passion. So many people are just merely existing, just trying to get by from one day to the next. God desires so much more of us than to simply exist, He has come that we might have life and that it would be one that is abundant!!! Life as McManus puts it is supposed to be an "adventure, a journey, a trek filled with uncertainty, excitement, and risk". Where is the excitement and adventure in just existing? We are called to live!! We are created for passion! Instead, "we've made acting like an adult synonymous with living apathetic lives"!! I get so frustrated at times sharing the things I'm passionate about and then people just going "that's nice". I think we fear passion in our culture, because it may require some sort of transformation or to move in a different direction. As Christians, we are called to be a little counter-cultural any ways. Not in the sense that we are to attack the culture we're in (which is too often the response of Christians), but instead radically seek to understand it with Christ's love as the model (remember Christ didn't come to condemn the world, but to save it, He did this through LOVE!!). I think other than the ultimate display of passion of Christ on the cross, the most beautiful display of passion is in watching a child explore their world. They are so fascinated and try to take all of it in. I believe it is why it says that to "enter His kingdom we must come as little children". We are to be passionate, full of awe, and wonder!! Each day is a gift from God, and holds with it endless possibilities. It is in that we can not only find passion, but freedom. The freedom I'm talking about is one that only God can give. It is a freedom that comes from from a life lived passionately in Him. We are to be transformed by the renewing of our minds!! To live with passion we must be constantly being renewed!! I hope to never to the point where I lose my awe and wonder for God, and for the life He has for me. I pray that if you're reading this you would come desire that passion in your own life. Remember to make the most of each day!! Love without limit, forgive, be merciful, be generous, be compassionate, take risks, sacrifice, enjoy yourself, and surely you will live!!!

Hope

So, right now I'm about to graduate from college. I've grown and been stretched so much in these 7 years that I can say in all certainty I'm not at all the girl I was when I first started. In fact I'm not a girl at all, but a woman. Right now I am anxiously awaiting the next step on the journey, not certain what it will bring, but knowing I can trust in the God who has been guiding me all along the way. It's not an easy thing to do, to wait, and to have hope, but it's something I know must be done. The scriptures say that hope doesn't disappoint. While there are many things that I hope for the greatest is to be in the center of God's will for my life. I just have to believe that God will address my deep desires of being a wife and someday a mom, but he will do so in His good a perfect timing. I must enjoy the beauty and the opportunities in whatever season of life I find myself in and not try to somehow rush God. I know the pain of running ahead of Him all too well. So, I journey on with hope, as I allow God to unfold the mysteries of the life He has for me in His timing. Where will it lead me? Only he knows . . .