Rejoice always?

Wow, another year has passed since I last wrote on this blog.  Here it is a year after the last post, and once again I'm feeling compelled to write.  I've found it always calms me, and helps me to focus.  Perhaps, it's a way to let out all that I hold inside.  Several months ago, I learned that I was being let go from my job.  They did give us nearly 3 months to find something, and it's nearing the end of that time, and I have yet to find anything.  I've been trying to be so strong through this all, after all that's the way a person following Christ is supposed to be right?  Strong and courageous.  I hear those words echoed over and over in my mind from scripture I have read, and yet I feel anything but strong and courageous right now.  I feel broken and worn out.  I know I have hope in God, and I know all his promises to never leave me nor forsake me.  In the midst of all the job searching, we've been trying to purchase a home, which may sound absurd, but there is an update from the last post.  My husband did find a job at a church as their Associate Pastor of Youth.  The only thing is it's in a town about an hour from us, and we believe firmly in living in the community that God calls us to serve in, and due to a lack of rental homes buying is the best option.  Well, the home buying process has been incredibly rough, it seemed to start out so great, and then started falling apart as the day to close got near.  That on top of having to search for work, and the long commute to the town we serve in has unfortunately left me mentally, physically, and spiritually exhausted. Then when you throw in the mix that Patrick and I have been trying unsuccessfully for over 2 years to have a child, and some days I feel the weight of that as well, it all has started to become overwhelming.  I know there are people out there going through way worse than we are, but that doesn't change the fact that I'm hurting.  It's 3 things right now that we have absolutely no control of but to wait and hope, and pray.  I don't even know what to pray anymore, do you ever reach that point?  All I do know, and all I cling to is that the Lord has been so faithful in the past, and I know he will take care of us no matter what, even if the house falls through, and I don't find a job right away, God will still be on His throne and will be providing for us.  Nothing can separate us from His love, and part of His love is His provision for us, our daily bread will be provided.  So in that I can rejoice, and take delight in my God. 

Lord, I know that you are with me, and that you know the hurt, the pain, the frustration we are currently facing. Help me to rejoice in you, your word says to rejoice always, to find my joy, my contentment in you and you alone.  


^" For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. ¹¹ What father among you, if his son asks for^[d] a fish, will instead of a fish give him a serpent; ¹² or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? ¹³ If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!”  Luke 11:10-13